Parenting older children….

 I’m going to start this post with the realisation that it has been almost 9 months since I last wrote anything. I think that’s the longest gap between posts since I started this blog. Things have seemed to have gotten in the way, which isn’t surprising really after the last 18months. 

Lots has happened since the last post; Samuel had a pump upgrade to the Medtronic 780….complete game changer in our opinion. I will write another blog post about that. We all had COVID two weeks before Christmas! Yes…all of us! At the same time! That was fun…again I will save that for another day. Oh and Victoria was discharged from the Eating Disorder clinic and not for a good reason.

None of the above though is the subject of this post, this one is about how everything that has happened, and continues to happen impacts me, slightly self-indulgent I know, however it’s easy to forget about how having a chronic health condition impacts the wider family.

If you’ve read previous posts then you you will know that I live in a very busy household, my husband and I have four children 19, 16, 14 and 12 so all live at home as well as his mum. My husband has type 1 diabetes along with the 16 and 14 year old, you can imagine the fun we have when they all have high blood sugars, are completely irrational, argumentative, angry and each think that they are right! Over the years we have muddled through, all being slightly agitated by the others at times like in all big families but we’ve been ok, I’ve been ok…..until now.  

I am open to the suggestion that all of what I am about to say could be partly down to hormones ( I am a woman of a certain age after all ) but I’m not 100% sure. Over the last few months I have noticed that I have been increasingly more anxious, remember how you used to feel before a test at school? Out of nowhere I’ve been feeling sick and worried, taking more time to fall asleep as mind won’t settle. 

I wonder though if it’s because the children are getting older and I am losing some of the control over their health and diabetes. When Samuel was first diagnosed he was only 4, I had complete control. As the years have past I have had to release my grip bit by bit, and now at almost 17 I don’t have much to do with his day to day control. Thankfully he is still fairly sensible and his control is not too bad currently. The same can not be said for Victoria. We had clinic last week and her HbA1c is the worst it has ever been, even worse than at diagnosis!! Her behaviour and regards for her health is reckless, and she doesn’t seem to care. She battles me most days, and as her mum it is heartbreaking not to be able to do anything to help her as she won’t allow anyone to help.

All of this has resulted in the slight decline in my own mental health which I know is something I need to work on, even if it is making time for a run.

Parenting big kids is hard!!