How is it possible that I have arrived at this point in my journey of parenting two children with type 1 diabetes. It seems crazy to me how many years have past since I started this blog, and how we are now choosing a new hospital as my son moves over to adult care!
I haven’t posted anything for almost two years now I think, I always mean too but then never know what to write as I have less and less control over their lives and if you recall I struggle with that as I am a self-confessed control freak. It is so hard to sit back and allow both of them to make decisions that I might not agree with but can’t stop them.
Let’s start with the oldest child, almost 20, he absolutely does not like wearing a sensor and it is a fight to get him to put one on. In fact at his last hospital appointment his HbA1c was the highest it has been for a very long time. He then looked at me in disbelief and I kid you not these words came out of his mouth “whys that so high then?” My response “well what do you think?” He knows full well why. To be fair to him though his whole mindset changed when out of the blue his consultant was changed, all of us had such a good relationship with the Prof, and still we have no idea what happened. On a more positive note he now has a full-time job as an accounts assistant, passed his driving test and has his own car. I couldn’t be more proud.
Now…. The almost 18 girl child! She has always caused me an immense amount of stress, I joke that on my death certificate under the section cause of death it will say her name! She decided last year that the pump was no longer what she wanted and she wanted to go back to injections. She felt that she never really gave it a go and she had no choice. To be fair to her that was somewhat true. She was 11 when she was diagnosed and I didn’t really give her an option. I moved her care to UCLH under the Prof and got her a pump. You also need to remember that during the COVID pandemic and lockdown she developed an eating disorder and is still very body conscious. She isn’t keen on how the pump looks. We spoke about it a lot, and came to a compromise that she could have a pump break for a few months. However, I said to her that if she decided that she wanted to go back on the pump that I wouldn’t say I told you so, as long as she didn’t not go back due to her stubbornness. It took about a year for her to admit that the injections weren’t working, her sugar levels were out of control and she admitted that she had been feeling awful, so she is now back on the pump. She is also working full time as a carer and as her driving test some point next week, she won’t give me the exact date. It goes without saying that I am equally proud of her.
It’s hard to sit back and watch any of my children make decisions that I may not agree with, but I do know I have to let them go, and just hope that I have done enough to ensure that they make good decisions.
Let her go mom. She will figure it out for hevrself and trust me, she will likely change a dozen times before she is finished. I love my pump and would never let it go. But, I also took injections for almost 40 years.
ReplyDeleteLet her do her thing and wish her well. - Just my vote, for what its not worth.